In dedication to my grandma

Last night, my grandmother died. And she wasn't just my grandmother...she was one of my close friends, like a mother to me. I talked to her about anything and everything and I could always turn to her for advise when I was having a rough time in life. She was the kindest person who ever walked the face of this earth and someone with such a great spirit who helped anyone and everyone in anyway possible.

Everyone who met her loved her. All my friends who knew her admired her and always told me how lucky I was to have a grandmother like her. And lucky I was. I am so lucky that I had her in my life. I am truely blessed that I had her in my life for as long as I did! When I was 17 and was having problems at home, I moved in with her and my grandfather and they told me they would help me and they did! I lived there for 4 1/2 years. They gave me a loan to get a new car, she cooked me dinner often, took me to the doctor when I was sick, helped me get through college, let me life an adult life but also gave me rules and helped me choose a good path in life. She was such a great role model for me and if I am half the woman she was then I will consider myself a fantastic person and a mom when the time comes.

She taught me so much about the value of family. She was the center of our family and the center of our lives. I saw her or talked to her at least once a week and loved every second of it. I would often go to their house just to visit and hear grandpa's stories. I loved being with them and am going to miss her so much. I am going to be a mess without her. I am especially sad that she won't be here to meet my baby. She was so so so excited to be a great-grandmother. Everytime I saw her that is all we talked about and she kept telling me how excited she is...now that wont happen. I always considered her a great grandmother, but now my children won't meet her and I am truely saddened that they wont have her in their lives.

It wasn't her time. She was absolutely fine on Wednesday. A strong woman who was in great shape. She got sick on Thursday and went to the emergency room. She spent Thursday night to Saturday night in the hospital. They went in to do surgery in her abdomen after numerous tests to see what they could do. There was nothing they could do. All but 3 feet of her intestines were dead. She couldn't live like that and even if she did make it through the surgery, she would have a miserable life. We didn't want this for her and we know she wouldn't want it either.

The hardest part of the whole thing was seeing my grandpa with her. He is not in as good of health as she was and he was so sad. I dont think he can make it without her. I dont think he wants to and I cant bare to think of losing both of them right now.

I just can't help but think it wasn't her time. She was fine on Wednesday and was such a strong lady! Even at 79 she was going to lunch and shopping and doing everything other people do. She was so healthy and so happy. She wasn't ready to leave and we weren't ready to have her leave!!!

Grandma - I love you so much and always will. I promise you that my kids will know you and will know what a great great-grandmother you would have been. They will know what a great person you ALWAYS were and how you were so willing to help anyone in anyway possible. I will miss you so much and I am truely not ready to lose you. It was such a surprise and our family can't take losing any more of us. Two in two years is too much! We will take good care of grandpa for you and look down over us and keep guiding us. I want you to visit often and I want to feel you around. This is the toughest time I have ever had and the strong person I always know I can turn to isn't there. Thank you for everything and thank you for making me a better person. I LOVE YOU!! You tell whoever is in charge up there that our family has had enough and to let us be happy and not loose anyone else!