39 weeks and counting

So I had my doctor appointment yesterday and....still nothing. Talk about feeling so dissapointed! I know you don't have to dilate to go into labor and I do want him to be ready, but it's really hard for me to want something so bad and know I have no control over it. I also feel like my body isn't doing what it's suppose to be doing. What if it means I won't dilate and have to have a c-section? I would be devastated. I want to have a vaginal birth and that would really bother me. It really makes me feel like I'm not capable of having a baby. I know it doesn't mean that but it scares me and makes me feel like shit.

On top of making me more worried about birth, I am so tired of restless legs at night, tired of 3-5 bathroom trips each night (I will get up and feed, but so annoying to get up to pee!), I can't get comfortable at night, I wake up with sore sore sore hips, I am so done with the clothes I have, I throw up in my mouth every day/night! Heartburn sucks and I get sick half the time when I eat. I also broke out in zits about two weeks ago and they won't go away. Luckily not on my face, but all aound my butt and front area and in my arm pits and some on my legs. It is so yucky. I feel fat everywhere and am retaining water. And can I say so emotional?

I know I'm making a baby and it's ok to have all these side effects and they aren't that bad and I am so thankful that nothing has been worse and the baby seems to be happy and healthy. I am so thankful so I feel bad complaining, but I am so DONE being pregnant! I cried the whole way home from my doctor appointment yesterday, but it helped me feel better!

My due date at the doctors office is tomorrow, the 15th, but at the hospital they have it as Thursday, the 19th. They won't change it because it isn't ten days different. So I still think I have a chance to go into labor because he really should be about ready.

Sorry for the whinny post...

Keep your fingers crossed for us and that I can have this baby safely! Our next appointment is next wednesday and I will be induced the next Wednesday night/Thursday morning (either way, its less than two weeks). They will start thinning my cervix Wed night, but I probably wont go into labor until Thursday morning.