Cruzin!

It's been a while since I posted. Life is amazing and I am so happy. B is getting so big and I love being a mom more than anything in this world. I couldn't even imagine my life without him in it!

I just got back from the best vacation. I went on a cruise to the Caribbean with Amy, Stacy and Jen. Such great friends. We had such an amazing time. It was BEAUTIFUL and so good to relax and have a break. We spent a lot of time at Karaoke and on the Lido deck. We went dancing a lot, to the comedy shows and to the nightly, Vegas style, shows. We stopped in Cozumel, Belize and Grand Cayman. Isla Roatan was suppose to be a stop, but we didn't stop there because a storm came in. It was windy almost the entire time we were gone and one day was really stormy and it was hard to stand straight on the boat! I loved being pampered, having food cooked for me, my bed made each day and pulled down each night, nightly towel animals, not having to pay for anything, etc! I am thinking cruises are the only way to vacation! It was my 3rd cruise, but by far the best one I've been on!

Other than that, life is going well. I'm so much happier than I have been in years and am so excited to see what 2011 has in store for me. I'm still trying to sell the house and get a place for B and I to call our own. We are doing a short sale and the process is irritating and stressful! I'm just hoping for the best, but also trying not to worry so much about it. It will all work out in the end. Things turn out how they are suppose to, right?!

My New Life

So it is amazing how fast things happen and how fast life moves on. I am doing very well since the divorce and am so happy. I always knew I was unhappy, but I never realized HOW unhappy I was until now. I am really loving life. I love spending time with Bracken and playing with him. We go to the park as much as possible. He loves being outside and loves running around and playing. He is also very interested in books lately.

I have realized that I have the most supportive and best friends and family ever. Everyone supports me with all of my decisions and have been there to spend time with me and to keep my mind off things. I have had so many offers for people wanting to help do anything they can and my dad and brothers have been over many times helping around the house. My sister has spent a lot of time with me and helps with B a lot. I love everyone and want to thank everyone for their love and support. I have grown close with a few friends and gained a couple new friends that I really enjoy having in my life. It is fun to go out on weekends and watch movies and go get ice cream. I love that I can get out and do things I love again.

I also have completely changed my room with new furniture, tv, bedding, decor, etc. I love it and it makes me so happy to be in there. I am getting anxious to move and want to get out and start my life on my own, getting rid of the last ties and memories with Jer that I am patiently waiting to get rid of.

Dating. I didn't think I would be ready to date for a long time and didn't think I would be interested in anyone for years, but the dating life has been fun and I have also enjoyed getting to know some boys. It has been a long time since I have talked to guys that way and it is fun!

School is almost over for the year. I have 6 weeks off, but have class one of the weeks and have to work one of the weeks, so really I have 4 weeks off. I have had the best class this year and I will really miss them. I have 3 or 4 students that I have just absolutely fallen in love with this year and I will hate to see them move on to 6th grade. Maybe I can hold them back...hum. haha.

I am going to be a changed woman in a week and a half and I am excited and nervous for that, but I think it will be a good thing for me. One of the biggest decisions I have ever made in my life. I am really hoping all will go well.

That is an update on my life for now. I am truly happy and loving every minute of my life! Thanks for everyone who is a part of that!

Divorced

Well, it is official and I now feel comfortable announcing that Jer and I are getting divorced. We have definitely had our fair share of rough times the last 7 1/2years, but we have also had some great times. We both feel the time has come to move on to different things and go our seperate ways. We have started filing the paper work and he is moved out of the house. We have been very civil about things and he has been really good to help out around here as much as he can. I am

I feel like I am in a really good place right now. There is not a doubt in my mind that this is the right decision for us and I don't have any regrets. I feel very comfortable in my own skin and in my abilities to move on. I will have custody of Bracken and I am so excited to start this journey with him.

We are selling our house and my Trans Am if anyone is interested in buying :) I don't know where I will be moving yet, I need to get the house sold so I can see what our money situation will be like before I can make any decisions.

I am so thankful for all the fantastic friends and family I have that have helped me through this time. I appreciate all the calls and texts and emails supporting me and letting me know how much you love me and Bracken. I love you all too and am so lucky that I have you in my life.

ARG!

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That feels better! :)

Catching UP

Well, I created a new post and it didn't save, so here I go again!

I keep getting on my blog to look at everyone else's blog and am tired of seeing my last post, so I have decided to update it. I know it's about time.

Things are going really well with Jer and I and I am loving being a mom. We are having so much fun watching B grow up! Work is going great for me. I have such a fun/great class this year that I just love! Jer is working semi-regularly, which is better that it has been, so that is good.

B Just got his first haircut and looks like such a stud! He is learning to walk, slowly but surely. He has slept through the night twice now! Good jub B! Twice in a year. We sure got the short stick in the sleeping issues!

We just remodeled our bathroom. It took about 6 weeks of planning, working and waiting, but it is finally done and it looks great! I love it! Well, anything would look better than the green countertops we had before! Everyone needs to come see it!

That is about all for now. We are super busy this month with birthdays and errands and B's party and baby showers and on and on and on. It will be a busy month for sure! Hope to see everyone soon! Love you all!

Life

Why is life so hard? I feel like I am pulled in so many directions right now and can't figure out the right path. I am stuck. Really struggling trying to figure out which path is going to be the best. The hardest part is I know what is the best but taking that step is so hard...How do you know what to do and how do you do it? I don't want to have regrets in my life and in my choices but not sure which decision I would not regret.

What to do...what to do...what to do...

Bracken

So cute. One of the pics from yesterday's shoot.

B is rollin!

B rolled over for the first time! To see the video and read what happened, see his blog babywootton.blogspot.com. I am too lazy to type it all twice. : )

Summer Time!

I love summer! I'm so glad it's here but I dont feel like I do much of anything these days, but I did have a fairly busy week. Tuesday we went to lunch with Jer who found a job! YAY. Wednesday we went and had lunch with Heidi and Mia and that was lots of fun! Thursday Savannah and I went and had some girl time. We went shopping and I got my hair cut (which I think I love, but I need to practice with it a bit) then Yesterday I took Savannah and Nathan to Cherry Hill with Kelly and the girls and that was so much fun! Today I am spending time at home with B since I didn't see him a whole lot the last two days and missed him like crazy!

It is so nice to be able to go out and do things when I'm not working! One of the great perks of teaching!

I have tons more pics of B so I'm going to post another slide show.

Memorial Day

For Memorial Day, we went to Moab. It's the first time I have ever been there and it was fun. The weather was rainy but it kept it nice and cool. We went on a couple hikes and hung out around camp. B was really good on the drive (he slept all the way home - phew - and wasn't way too fusy on the way there). But Saturday he was so fussy all day. It was really hard and I was ornery due to lack of sleep. But overall we had a great time! Here are some pics.

Catching Up

So I haven't posted much lately. REally there isn't much going on. Still home from work for two more weeks so I haven't done much but take care of B. He is getting so big. Already 12 pounds 4 ounces. He will be 8 weeks tomorrow!! Its going by so fast. He is still colicy and really fussy. I have a hard time taking him out because I hate the looks people give me when he cries...like its my fault? Yesterday in Shopko a lady had the nerve to ask, "whos the mom?" She said it rude when someone else was holding B when he was screaming. I felt like saying, "F!!! Off" but I smiled and said, "I am." But hopefully it wont last too much longer and he will grow out of it. He is sleeping a little better during the day and that helps and gives me a break.

Jer is working like crazy and not getting anything special for it, but a pay check and gets to keep his job. If they dont work their boss says they get fired. But he is gone about 14 hours a day and it really sucks that we never see him and when he does get home he showers eats and goes to bed.

Nothing else new. Just debating on how I feel about going back to work. Dont want to leave him and dont want to work, but at the same time I think it will be nice to get away a little and get away from the crying and constant soothing. It wears me out : )

Hope everyone is doing well and I hope all the moms have a great Mother's Day!!!

Doctor Appointment

Need to vent.

So I took B to the doctor today because he has had screaming episodes the last two evenings. They lasted about 6 hours each night, but it was scream, nap, scream, nap, scream, nap, etc. Naps were about 20 minutes each and screaming 30 or more minutes. I about lost my sanity and it's so hard to see him cry and not be able to sooth him. Its the worst feeling in the world! Plus Jer hasn't been getting home until 9 so I am alone all day and all night with B. I love him but it is draining not being able to put him down a whole lot and not getting naps in because he usually doesn't sleep long enough for me to fall asleep and get a good nap. I end up waking up more tired. Anyway...

He is 11 lbs 1 oz. That is the 75th percentile. Big Boy!

She thinks he is colicy which is something he will just have to grow out of and the screaming fits are something we will just have to deal with while they are happening. She is having me put him on formula for a week to see if that helps because there may be something in my milk upsetting his belly. I am not happy about this and it makes me feel like a bad mom. I feel like I can't provide for him now. PLus I have to pump after each feeding to keep my supply up so it's just going to take twice as long and be harder now. I'm really upset about this.

She also told me to put him down and let him cry if I can't sooth him and I get frustrated. I know her reasonings behind this, but I dont think I can do that. I can't sit in the other room and listen to him scream knowing I'm not even trying to help calm him. I would just get more frustrated listening to that from the other room.

Arg.

This sucks.

I feel like shit.

Poor Bracken. Hopefully he grows out of it sooner rather than later. And hopefully these fits are only a few times a week and not a nightly episode because it is so draining on both of us. I just sit and cry with him for most the time. What a crappy day. I hope it helps him being on formula because I am really opposed to doing it. If it doesn't help change his behavior then it will be a waste and I will be even more upset.

BaBy BrAcKeN

Hello to all! For everyone who keeps asking...things are going well! It is so freaking hard being a mom and I am completely overwhelmed most of the time, but I also love it. Everyone says it is hard, but you don't really understand how hard until it happens to you! And he is pretty fussy some days and just doesn't sleep well at nights, so that is really hard on me. I love seeing him grow (he is so big already) and all the little developments and changes in him. At his two week appointment he had grown almost a pound putting him at 8 lbs 11 ounces and 21 inches, which means he grew about 3 inches! That is crazy and I can tell he is even bigger since then. We take tons of pictures, so I am adding another slide show. I am slightly obsessive with taking pictures, I know, but he is so cute that I can't help it.

Bracken Pictures

Bracken Shane Wootton

Bracken Shane Wootton

March 15th, 2009

7 lbs 13 ounces

18 inches long

Welcome to our family, little one!!

So, I went into labor on Saturday night at 230. After an hour of contractions that weren't consistent but hurt like hell and were between 2-5 minutes apart I woke up Jer. We stayed home for a bit then went to the hospital at 530. They took me in and checked me. I was very thin but only dialated to a 1. They gave me my epidural very quickly, probably because I was screaming during the contractions! I didn't know it could hurt so bad! Then at 730 my doc came in and broke my water and started me on Pitocin. I dilated very quickly after that, but then I got really sick. I was shaking really bad and had a fever, was sweating, was nauseated, and so out of it. The babie's heart rate dropped so they stopped the pitocin and got me back under control. My blood pressure had dropped extremely low so they had to keep putting me on oxygen, but after that one time, it wasn't too low. Once we were feeling better they put the pitocin back on.

After another couple hours of being miserable and so sick I was finally dilated to a 10. So we started pushing and after 15 minutes, they made me stop while we waited another 15 minutes for my doc to get there and get dressed. After he was there I pushed for less than 5 minutes, probably only about 5 times and Bracken had arrived! I was in the pushing stage for only 35 minutes and I wasn't pushing for half of it, so that was better than I had hoped for!

Total, I was in labor for 12 hours and 15 minutes. It wasn't too bad considering what came out of me! I am doing well now, just very sore. Bracken is so adorable and loves to be held. He won't let us put him down - not even at night. So, we don't really sleep. This is going to be a problem.

Here are a bunch of pictures. I have a ton more, but I will do a slide show later to add them.

Jer is such a good daddy and has been helping out so much. He is really good and comforting him and it is so cute to see! Thanks hunny for all you do!

Thanks for everyone's support!! Love you all!

39 weeks and counting

So I had my doctor appointment yesterday and....still nothing. Talk about feeling so dissapointed! I know you don't have to dilate to go into labor and I do want him to be ready, but it's really hard for me to want something so bad and know I have no control over it. I also feel like my body isn't doing what it's suppose to be doing. What if it means I won't dilate and have to have a c-section? I would be devastated. I want to have a vaginal birth and that would really bother me. It really makes me feel like I'm not capable of having a baby. I know it doesn't mean that but it scares me and makes me feel like shit.

On top of making me more worried about birth, I am so tired of restless legs at night, tired of 3-5 bathroom trips each night (I will get up and feed, but so annoying to get up to pee!), I can't get comfortable at night, I wake up with sore sore sore hips, I am so done with the clothes I have, I throw up in my mouth every day/night! Heartburn sucks and I get sick half the time when I eat. I also broke out in zits about two weeks ago and they won't go away. Luckily not on my face, but all aound my butt and front area and in my arm pits and some on my legs. It is so yucky. I feel fat everywhere and am retaining water. And can I say so emotional?

I know I'm making a baby and it's ok to have all these side effects and they aren't that bad and I am so thankful that nothing has been worse and the baby seems to be happy and healthy. I am so thankful so I feel bad complaining, but I am so DONE being pregnant! I cried the whole way home from my doctor appointment yesterday, but it helped me feel better!

My due date at the doctors office is tomorrow, the 15th, but at the hospital they have it as Thursday, the 19th. They won't change it because it isn't ten days different. So I still think I have a chance to go into labor because he really should be about ready.

Sorry for the whinny post...

Keep your fingers crossed for us and that I can have this baby safely! Our next appointment is next wednesday and I will be induced the next Wednesday night/Thursday morning (either way, its less than two weeks). They will start thinning my cervix Wed night, but I probably wont go into labor until Thursday morning.

Silly Story

So yesterday, I was in the office at work and a mom with her little boy walked in and the boy was probably 5.

He looked at me and said, "Do you have a ball?" (referring to my belly).
I said, "Does it look like I have a ball (rubbing my belly)?"
Boy, "yeah, it does."
"Well it is actually a baby."
"Let me see."
"Well he is in my belly, so you can't see."
"I think you have a ball for me (with a smile on his face)."
"I wish I had a ball for you, but it is a baby."
He just looked at me, unsure.
I was walking out of the office and had to walk by him and he bent over and turned his head sideways trying to look up my shirt to see if he could see the "ball." It was the funniest thing! His mom just stared at me and another lady in the office was cracking up. I was trying not to laugh at him, until I left, then I got a good laugh out of it.

38 Weeks and counting...

So I had a doctor appointment today. I have gained 32 pounds so far and two this week. I am measuring at 39 1/2 weeks, but not dialated at all. He said I feel thin, but I don't think he can tell me a percentage because I'm not dialated so he can't actually feel the thinkness. I really wish I was dialating, but nothing I can do about that. He said he is very surprised that I haven't dialated because people with this body type usually are dialated by now. Maybe I'm just a really good oven.

We set up a day to induce me - March 26th. I would go in the night of the 25th and they give me a pill or something to get me started and I sleep there. Then in the morning of the 26th they will give me pitocin or break my water if I need it, if the pill didn't do enough. So he will be here in 20 days, almost definitely. That is so far away though! I am so ready to start this journey and the closer I get, the more anxious I get and just want it to be here. I have been very patient this whole pregnancy, but the last week or so I have really wanted to get the show on the road! I could still go into labor at any time though, so keep your fingers crossed for me!

More Belly Videos

I have been trying to get a video when he is really active, but I am struggling to have the camera in my hand when it actually happens. Here are a couple more videos but they just don't do it justice! I can't even explain how crazy and cool and awkward it feels! I love it - well until he kicks my ribs or bladder. I wish I could get a better video, but these are still fun!

Last Shower

So I had my last baby shower on Sunday. There turned out to be lots of people there and I got a ton of stuff. I was surprised at how many people came to support our new family because I'm not very close to many of them! What a sweet family. I am definitely ready for this baby now! I've got everything put away and put together and took back a few things I didn't need. Now we just need a baby! Here are some pictures from my last shower! We had such a great time and it was so nice to see everyone. Jeramie's family is so supportive and great!

I got two blankets like this that are homemade and so adorable!


Jer's parents and sisters got us this huge gift bag full of stuff! They spoiled us! And gave us about 250 diapers! So helpful!










We played Pictionary with baby words. No one wanted to get up and draw but everyone had fun - whether they admit it or not! LOL. It was fun to see the pictures they were drawing and trying to figure out what it was.


Jer's mom - Thanks for throwing my shower for me! And thanks to Megan - I don't know how I didn't get a picture her! Love you both!






I am working on parent conferences this week at work and I wanted to get through them for sure before he came, but I'll be done tomorrow, so that's not a problem. Now I am ready for him to come! I am 37 weeks, so considered full term and safe for the baby to come. My feet are swelling now since I'm back at work and on my feet all day. I get sock indents and my feet get red and fat. It's not that bad, but noticeable. My next doctor appointment is tomorrow. I will get checked again and get results back for the strep B test. Last week I wasn't dialated or effaced at all, so I am hoping that I am tomorrow. It seems like the closer it gets the more I am just ready to have him here! He moves so much and it is so weird because it moves my entire belly and he is so big that it looks funny. I love it, but it is uncomfortable after a few minutes and he pushes on my bladder and it feels like someone is stabbing me. Ouch. I'll update everyone tomorrow on my doctor appointment.